Dare to Be Happy

When I was a kid, happiness was often dependent upon external circumstances. 

In my 20s, happiness felt like an elusive dream as I was in the thick of working through tremendous childhood trauma. 

In my late 20s, as I was starting to see the light at the end of the dark tumultuous journey of healing from trauma and began working with a new mentor, I discovered something unexpected about happiness. 

Happiness was something that I had been longing for, dreaming about for so long, and as I was starting to implement the tools I was learning from this mentor, I realized something that seemed completely counterintuitive. 

Most people are not happy.  

It is almost cool to be unhappy - to be upset - to complain about your life.  

If nothing else, it’s common, and what many conversations revolve around in society based on what I started witnessing. 

Happy people stick out like a sore thumb. 

Happy people are rare!

Truly, genuinely, embodied, and expressed happy people are regrettably a scarcity in western society. 

Now, I understand there are so many unjust and horrible societal structures that create barriers to happier lives for many people. 

And, with all the work that I’ve done both internally AND what I’ve learned through spiritual psychology, life coaching, and working with a variety of mentors - I’ve learned this truth:

I, AND ONLY I, AM RESPONSIBLE FOR HOW I FEEL. 

We are the only ones responsible for how we feel. 

We are in charge of how we feel. 

As I started to learn the tools and techniques to own how I feel, to choose how I feel, to co-create my life based on how I feel, it took time. 

It took time to learn new techniques, and above all - it took time to incrementally shift how I felt internally. I had been wading through deep dark emotions of trauma and terror and suffering for so many years, and although I had been steadily improving how I felt, there was a lot of momentum with those old emotions. 

I was committed. I was dedicated. The one thing I wanted in all my life was to feel happy.

And so, I daily implemented what I was learning, to shift little bit by little bit and feel feeling marginally better than I was the day before, the moment before. 

And let me tell you, while it took time: IT WORKED. 

And you know the other funny thing I encountered along this happiness adventure?

It actually felt really scary at first to be happy!

If I was happy, I stood out.

If I was happy, people noticed me. 

If I was happy, I was different than the majority of people in my life. 

So, beyond building happiness within myself over time, I also built the courage, vulnerability, and inner solidness to stand in, be, and express happiness in public. 

It took time. 

And over time, I didn’t notice it anymore. 

Happiness was my dominant state of being, and it was second nature. 

Being happy around others was normal for me.

To this day, I find it so funny that being happy is so abnormal!!

I get it. I was there once. And, I believe we are ever-expanding, and so I am always choosing into more and more and more joy.

I choose people that are also happy to spend my time with as much as I can. 

So my message is - if you are choosing and desiring to be a happier person, go you!!!

It may feel lonely at first. It may feel strange. It may even feel scary.

Know that I am cheering you on. Celebrating you! 

And someone out there that you know who lives in laughter, happiness, and play.

So on that note, I welcome you into the happy people club! I heartily encourage you to choose to do one thing today that supports you in feeling happy.

Have fun!!!  :D

Much love,

Jenna