WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF LIFE IF NOT FOR JOY

There was a time - many years of my life, actually - when my day consisted of what felt like a million impossible things on a checklist. A list that never ended. A list that always grew. Days of stress, of frustration, of rushing, of hecticness, of pressure!

A life that felt empty, lacking, like there was this big aching whole within me. If only I could COMPLETE MY LIST! If only I could get everything DONE! If only I was actually better at getting things done, THEN I could breathe. THEN I could relax. THEN I could have freedom! Then & only then, I would finally have time to & space to truly be HAPPY.

HAPPY.

PEACE.

TIME TO JUST SIT & BE AT EASE.

This constantly ELUSIVE dream.

This magical, pinnacle dream that felt further & further away as each day passed & my to do list only seemed to grow…

Then I transferred to CSUN along my journey to specialize in outdoor education & leadership and started studying play & leisure theories, the impacts of recreation across the lifespan, and the clear benefits that play/leisure/recreation have on lifelong health, happiness, & quality of life.

Being a very intellectually-driven person, seeing the data and numbers laid out for me over & over again, I could not deny it.

So, I started experimenting.

I started scheduling in leisure time. I began prioritizing doing at least one fun thing, for me, each week.

There are many different theories that define play/leisure/recreation, but the general concept is consistent: an activity one does simply because they want to and can do freely.

And guess what: it felt like I discovered a magical secret, an alchemic tool that truly transformed time & life!

As I started to MAKE TIME for fun, for joy, for play - literally “taking time away” that I could be using for my to-do list, everything opened up for me.

I felt more energized.

I had more time.

More time to do the things I had responsibilities to & felt like I needed to get done.

I had a rapidly elevated mood.

I had so much more energy for everything in my life.

Life flowed.

Even though it logically didn’t make sense - I spent less time on my to-do list to make time for play, and I found myself with more time in my life!?

How could something small, often less than 1 hour each week, create such an abundance of energy, uplifted attitude, and what felt like life awakening & flowing through me and my life again?!?

Around the same time, I was dealing with some of the most challenging, painful, and darkest years of my life. Deep in the midst of wading through serious childhood trauma PTSD, depression, & anxiety. Most of the day I felt like life had very little purpose in living, for years. I couldn’t imagine why life happened if it was so miserable, so painful, so f*cking despairing…

Until one day I had a thought.

I will never forget that moment.

WHAT IS THE PURPOSE OF LIFE IF NOT FOR JOY.

I had lived life miserable. 

For years.

I did it quite well. Lol. (Not to negate the truly horrific years of trauma & PTSD I fought for my life through.)

I decided there was no point in life/this planet/this existence if all it was was for suffering. Why do anything if it was just to suffer, so that I could keep living to suffer more? 

It was crystal clear to me in that moment.

Existence, life like that made zero sense.

I DECIDED, THERE & THEN & FOREVER MORE: LIFE ONLY MADE SENSE IF IT WAS FOR JOY. THE PURPOSE OF ME BEING BORN & ALIVE ON THIS PLANET ONLY COULD HAVE BEEN TO FEEL JOY! OTHERWISE, WHY LIVE? WHY HAVE LIFE IF I WAS GOING TO BE MISERABLE EVERYDAY? I HAD PREVIOUSLY BELIEVED IN SUFFERING. THAT LIFE HAD TO BE HARD. THAT I WAS SENT TO EARTH TO SUFFER FOR SUFFERING’S SAKE & TO OVERCOME SUFFERING & TO ENDURE SUFFERING & TO PROVE HOW DAMN “GOOD” I WAS AT SUFFERING & BEARING IT & GRITTING THROUGH IT & SURVIVING. 

F*CK.

THAT.

SHIT.

In that moment, I saw through suffering.

It broke.

I realized it was an illusion. It always had been.

I realized the bullshit I was raised to believe, that suffering or hard work was the point of life, was just something someone made up.

Someone once decided it, and so much of society decided it too and then most people bought into it without question.

But it was all always a lie.

It was never necessary.

Sure, I do believe there is a purpose to suffering in some regard (we decide what that purpose is, I will explain this further in the future) - if I hadn’t suffered so utterly, I wouldn’t have had any reference to go so deep within myself & discover who I really was beneath all the darkness… to discover the everlasting presence of my soul that always was me, always was untouchable.

AND, I believe that society is way too attached to & worshipping of suffering for suffering’s sake.

Suffering in and of itself has no value. It is not necessary.

WE CAN CHOOSE TO LIVE ANOTHER WAY.

Which brings me to where I was earlier: LIFE CAN INSTEAD BE ABOUT JOY.

Remember how I said that prioritizing FUN & PLAY in my life led me to have all these remarkable, seemingly impossible positive effects?

Well, believe it or not feeling good was so good, that I got addicted to it.

I started chasing it more. Prioritizing it more.

And I turned from an experimenter of the power of leisure, into a believer. Into living proof of the true power of PLAY!!!

And when I use the terms play, fun, recreation, leisure, these are general terms that refer to what many people call hobbies. Examples include reading, art, spending time with friends just for the fun of it, running because you love to, or any other activity you love to do simply because you love it! Because it brings you joy in the DOING of it, not simply in an outcome you get from doing the activity.

I could truly go on & on about the power of PLAY, the studies I’ve read about it’s absolutely remarkable impacts on human life, happiness, and health. I could go on & on about how I leaned more & more into prioritizing things I loved once a week, then at least once a day, then in how I did my chores & life responsibilities, then even at work!!! I could go on & on about how amazing & exciting it was when I got to experience the magic of every single aspect of my life change & shift into JOY. PLAY. FUN.

THINGS I DID SIMPLY BECAUSE I WANTED TO DO THEM.

THIS BECAME (ALMOST) MY ENTIRE LIFE.

I DO THINGS NOW BECAUSE I WANT TO.

I DON’T DO THINGS I DON’T WANT TO DO. (Almost entirely).

I show up & be a responsible human & take incredible care of my body & life. And I do this by following what I WANT to do. This didn’t happen overnight. It was a careful & intention & incremental shift in crafting my life to be a reflection of what I love to do. And it is ever-evolving!

As things arise that I don’t want to do or do anymore, I do the inner & outer work to shift & rearrange things & my life unfolds more & more in being filled with things I love to do.

This is so core to my work. To what I love to do.

TO HELP PEOPLE KNOW THAT LIFE GETS TO BE LED BY WHAT YOU LOVE TO DO!

THAT LIFE IS ABOUT JOY.

If you choose it to be so for you.

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL SOME ARBITRARY LIST IS COMPLETE BEFORE YOU CAN FEEL JOY.

BEFORE YOU CAN FEEL PEACE. PRESENCE. RELIEF. RELAXATION. EASE.

…BEFORE YOU FEEL WORTHY TO FEEL JOY.

…BEFORE YOU FEEL WORTHY TO DO WHAT YOU LOVE.

YOU ARE WORTHY NOW. YOU ARE WORTHY TO FEEL JOY NOW. YOU ARE WORTHY TO DO WHAT YOU LOVE NOW.

SO…. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? GO DO IT!

Much love,

Jenna