New Beliefs = New Life

This is blog #4 in a series about Your Inner Power. You can read blog #1, Your Power, here, blog #2, Free Yourself From Your Thoughts, here, and blog #3, Crafting New Patterns of Thinking, here.

As we get stronger and stronger in our new thought patterns, our new ways of thinking consciously (see my previous post Crafting New Patterns of Thinking), if we continually stick with them, working through doubts and fears and inner contradiction as we go, eventually our new thoughts will move from our conscious mind to our subconscious mind…

Subconscious.

Our subconscious mind runs the show. The subconscious thought programming within our minds is what is operating behind the scenes 24/7… it is what makes up the majority of our thoughts! It is what our mind is thinking without us even consciously choosing to think it.

And guess what?

Unless we consciously choose to change it, our subconscious programming is primarily established when we are very young children. And how many of us knew what we know now, when we were children? How many of us had the awareness to be selective of what from the outside world made it into our subconscious mind when we were quite young? How many of us had the perfect, healthy external environment to feed our subconscious minds when we were toddlers??

As a result, many adults - often unknowingly - have very old, limiting, and fear-based thoughts running their subconscious mind and therefore, their day-to-day experiences and lives.

The exciting news, of course, as I explain in last week’s blog, is that we can change our thoughts. And ultimately, CHANGE OUR SUBCONSCIOUS WIRING.

WHICH IS A MIRACLE.

MAGIC.

OUR SUPERPOWER.

WE CHANGE OUR LIVES BY CHANGING OUR MINDS AND ENERGY.

I’m going to add the caveat here that this is a blog post… I am just sharing an introductory understanding of these concepts here. This is not meant to fully explain how to change one’s thoughts & reality. It’s a window into what is possible for us. I learned these techniques through working with mentors for many months and taking multiple group & digital programs, life coaching packages, and more to fully integrate. I recommend finding an experienced mentor for training and support through the process. If you’d like to explore how working with me as your life coach could support you as you embark upon this journey, click here.

When a thought becomes engrained in our subconscious mind, it becomes fact, truth, to our minds and body -

IT BECOMES A NEW BELIEF FOR US.

And our beliefs shape our reality. They are the lens through which we see life… like wearing a pair of glasses over your perception, they color every internal & external experience. They influence our emotional & physiological reactions to situations, and even impact what experiences, people, and things show up for us in our lives.

One of the most stark examples of this from my own life, is my experience of leaving the religion I was raised in.

Growing up, the religion I was raised in dominated most of my life and my perception of the world and myself. 

I thought, as I was taught, that the religion was one of love, joy, kindness, and freedom.

I thought I was a wonderfully good person because of my actions that were what the religion preached a good person would do.

I thought so much of the world was evil, bad, wrong. Wicked and sinning people. Scary and unsafe planet.

By the time I became a young adult, as I share in my journey here, I was in a state of extreme PTSD, anxiety, and depression as a result of childhood trauma.

So I thought being the best faithful follower of my then religion would heal me. Help me be happier.

I dove into it all. Head first. Full on. I followed the ‘rules’ to a T and gave and gave and gave because it’s what I was told was the ‘righteous’ thing to do.

And, because I am me, I did it all with deep intention, critical thinking, and a lot of heart and compassion!

And I didn’t fully admit it to myself at the time, but I encountered a lot of contradiction in the religion in this process……

But I was determined to be the BEST PESRON I could be. And this is all I had ever been taught as the path to being a GOOD PERSON.

However, I found that even when I was all the way in as far as I could go. Doing practically everything I was told and could do to be faithful, I was more miserable and fearful than ever. More unhappy and unhealthy! More worthless feeling and trapped, powerless with no freedom, than ever before. It had progressed worse and worse and worse. 

This is when my then-developing spiritual practice saved me. Daily meditation. Daily connecting to my breath, my body, my presence…

Daily connecting to the ME that was beneath my mind and emotions. The REALITY that lied beneath the busy temporary physical world….

As I pursued this and other holistic healing methods, because I was doing everything I could to feel better, to survive each day of the PTSD/anxiety/depression, because they were the only things that were helping even minutely… As I pursued this, I learned a truth that forever changed my life. A TRUTH beyond religion, beyond humanity’s limitation, a truth that resonated with such solidness & surety deep within my soul:

LOVE IS THE OPPOSITE OF FEAR.

I learned this plain as day from Gerald Jampolsky’s gift of a book, Love is Letting Go of Fear.

My grandmother gave me this book and I am forever grateful to her for it.

THIS BOOK CHANGED MY LIFE.

Love cannot exist where there is fear, he teaches.

Love is recognizing where you have fear, and choosing to see things in a new way - a way that is love-based instead of fear-based.

Love is freeing oneself from fear….

And so, I actively began reframing every aspect of my life that was in fear to one of love. 

Love is what I believed in the most.

Love is what I had always believed in. Love, kindness, compassion, the precious unconditional worth of every individual person…

Love is what the religion I was raised in professed, but it was riddled with fear.

And due to the PTSD from childhood trauma, I was every second of every day consumed with and seemingly controlled by fear - body, mind, emotions —> FEAR. TERROR. ALMOST UNBEARABLE TERROR FOR MY LIFE, DAILY, EVERY MOMENT OF EVERY DAY….

I had tried to pursue the religion wholeheartedly for LOVE. For COMPASSION. For FREEDOM. For HEALING. For PEACE. For JOY.

Yet all it had gotten me, was worse - it had boxed me into an ever-shrinking and ever-ravenous box, and it was eating me away.

Strangling me.

Crushing me.

Disintegrating me.

And then I had a moment. 

I had done it. I had actively, thoroughly, analytically and with heart, intentionally dissected every f*cking aspect of that religion. I tried to take away the fear perspectives. I attempted to reframe every aspect of it from a lens of love instead. Piece by piece. Sifting. One piece of sand at a time. With a microscope. Not wanting it to be false. Wanting it with all my heart and soul to be true. To be love based. Because by goddess, it was all I f*cking knew. All I had ever known. All I had ever been told since birth. My perception of life and beyond and self. 

But then, the last piece was sifted, examined. Dropped. 

Shit.

At its very core, I could not separate the religion from fear. 

Without fear, it did not stand.

If I took away FEAR, it all crumbled….

And I have a core belief and deep knowing that fear is the opposite of love. That true unconditional love HAS ZERO FEAR. 

THIS RELIGION WAS NOT BASED ON UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

I saw my life flash before my eyes. 

I felt sick. 

I felt like I was going to die. 

I wanted to dive under my covers and hide from life forever, never having to make a decision.  

But in my gut, my heart, my center, I knew. 

It was irrevocable. 

It was irreversible. 

There was literally no turning back for me. 

My core belief was unconditional love. 

My core desire was to embody and live in integrity with unconditional love. 

This religion, after several years of relentless examination, was incontrovertibly NOT unconditional love. 

I felt like it would have killed me if I stayed. I knew it would have, in fact. 

But I felt like I was about to die. Because I was leaving. I knew I had to. But I knew I would die, a part of me did at some deep level, because I was taught since birth that I could go to hell if I left the religion and didn’t live aligned with its ways. That I would not have divine protection or miracles or love or safety or ANY goodness in this life if I left. I’d be betraying god. Betraying the most powerful force in the universe. 

It was one of the hardest decisions I have made in my entire life. 

Feeling like it would kill me either way. 

And yet -

And yet. 

As I envisioned myself acting on my decision to leave this religion. Envisioned myself freeing myself from this the only paradigm I had known up until then in my life -

FREEDOM

SUNLIGHT

EXHALE

LIFE

AND TRULY, ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING DEEP IN MY SOUL I HAD EVER AND ALWAYS TRUTHFULLY DESIRED FOR MYSELF AND FOR MY LIFE. 

FREEDOM. 

ME.

THE TRUE ME. 

Fast forward through a few months and years of first terror at my family and friends’ reaction to me leaving. Then years of inner torment as I wrestled with my mind, emotional reactions, and the inner depths of my soul… Torment. Terror. Guilt. Shame. All the conditioning about how evil and wrong of a person I was for leaving that religion.

Wrestling with my mind, reminding myself of the deeper truths I believed in now: Rewiring, rewiring, rewiring my brain!!!!

The shame, the guilt over leaving the religion lessened over time. 

The bodily terror dissipated as I continually reminded myself that what I was raised to be true was not, in fact, true. 

It was utterly terrifying. 

Free fall. 

Disorienting…

Everything I ever knew gone…

Everything I had believed about myself and the world, gone. 

Sure, for several years I’d been developing an inner spiritual connection to love, life, and soul beyond religion. Without realizing it at first. 

But actually living it out? I had jumped off the highest cliff there ever was with no sign of even if there was anything below….

HORRIFYING

DISCOMBOBULATING 

MANY WERE THE TIMES I FELT LIKE A PART OF ME MAY BE GOING CRAZY, LIKE I WAS MAYBE ALMOST LOSING MY MIND

But love was my guide

Unconditional love was my rock

LOVE LED ME ON

THROUGH THE MAZE AND CAGE OF MY MIND AND INNER TURMOIL

I had to save my life

I had to save myself

That was moving forward, even minutely in the dark, sprawled out in free fall, every single moment of my life for a couple years…..

This is how it felt for me when I chose to no longer believe the entire life and self paradigm I had known my entire life, up until that decision to leave that religion. 

***My intention isn’t to create fear of changing beliefs. This was the most extreme case I’ve experienced because it was almost EVERY belief I ever knew that dissolved almost all at once. And I had choice in the matter too, to leave and change those beliefs.

For most of my journey outside of this situation, it has been questioning, deconstructing, and choosing a new belief in smaller and manageable chunks!!

This example I’ve shared is so poignant here because the contrast of my life experience with different belief systems is so undeniable. 

Over the years since I left the religion 8.5 years ago, I have very consciously and delightfully chosen new beliefs and belief systems of:

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

JOY

EXPANSION

FREEDOM

COMPASSION

HEART 

WORTHINESS

SOUL STRENGTH

FEMININE POWER

INNER AUTHORITY

INFINITE LOVE

I now see the world through the eyes of love

I see myself through the lens of worthiness and power

I see reality through the belief that anything is possible!!!

I regularly experience all the emotions and experiences that I listed above, because my beliefs are now based around them. My day-to-day life experience is now predominantly one of:  

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

JOY

EXPANSION

FREEDOM

COMPASSION

HEART 

WORTHINESS

SOUL STRENGTH

FEMININE POWER

INNER AUTHORITY

INFINITE LOVE

I would have never healed from the extreme PTSD, anxiety, or depression if I had stayed in that religion. 

I would have never experienced what I experience now if I hadn’t CHOSEN NEW BELIEFS.

Whereas my life was once one of terror, guilt, and shame, 

MY LIFE IS NOW OVERFLOWING WITH JOY. PEACE. FREEDOM. 

‘Same’ life, world, and self. 

*Different beliefs.*

ENTIRE

NEW

REALITY

This is the true power of CHOOSING and consciously CHANGING OUR BELIEFS, which stem from our conscious thoughts that we think consistently over time. 

Remember, your beliefs create your REALITY, your LIFE. 

What life would you love to be living?!

Much love,

Jenna

P.S.  Next week, I will provide more insight into being your own authority with your own beliefs.

P.P.S. Remember, if you are seeking support, you can explore what it would be like to work with me as your life coach here.